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Introducing the Shockbox (The Verge)
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Making the Shockbox (2 parts) by Sheepwave
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(Commander's Herald)
Next game: TBA on Twitch
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Is this safe?
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If you can safely ride a rollercoaster? Yes. Many people test the kind of battery that powers the shockbox by literally licking both terminals! There is not even close to enough power in the box to be dangerous to the average person.
The experience of the device is startling, not painful. But because this device is deliberately designed to be as surprising as possible, it is not safe for people with existing heart conditions. For everyone else, The most dangerous thing about the shockbox is that it weighs 4 pounds and hurts a lot if you drop it on your foot.
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What if I gain life? What if I have a platinum angel?
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Gaining life adds to a "buffer"- when you press the button to queue up damage, if you have any buffer points, there is a 66% chance that instead of adding to your charged shocks, it will be prevented and spend one buffer point. in effect, you only ever take 40 points of "shock" damage over the course of a game. The shockbox rules state that effects that prevent players from winning or losing do not work, so if you have a platinum angel, you paid 7 mana for a 4/4 flier with no other abilities.
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Are you posting instructions anywhere?
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I will be writing articles and making a youtube video explaining the broad strokes of how this device works. I will not be supplying exact diagrams or schematics. If you don't think you can figure out how to build this yourself, you don't know how to run current through a person in a safe manner. Even then, please, for the love of god, do not replicate this if you don't understand how TENS units specifically operate. My code is awful and should never see the light of day, but I will be explaining the gist of how it operates in a youtube video.
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"Did you know that in yu-gi-oh there-"
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Yes. I knew that before I even started this project. I am also aware that this is similar to the work of Michael Reeves, whose work I definitely admire and find hilarious, but hadn't heard of until after I started this project.
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Can I buy this?
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Not currently. You might be pretty horrified to learn just how expensive this thing is- about 500 dollars just in parts and components at time of writing. I may eventually make one that is smaller, lighter, able to be mailed without breaking, and better suited to sale (3 digits rather than 4! Still not cheap!), but then I have to deal with the problem of legal liability. For now the answer is no.
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Is this a kink thing? Are you a sadist / masochist?
It isn't a kink thing... for me. Not into electroshocks. Definitely is for someone else tho. However... I literally built a machine that zaps people and tested it on myself. I feel the answer to the second question is pretty obvious at this point, just... Not in a lewd way.
Rules and Banlist
The button is pressed once per point of life lost. The box keeps track of how many times you have pressed it since it last shocked you. Once you go over a randomly chosen threshold, it waits a short (but random) amount of time, then zaps you.
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Starting life total is 30. Lethal Commander Damage is 18. Infect unchanged.
(honestly I still haven't figured out what to do about infect)
Players cannot gain life above 60. Players cannot be forced to gain life by effects they don't control. Damage to players cannot be prevented. Life totals cannot be exchanged or set to a specific number.
Cards that make players not want to do basic game actions are not encouraged. For that reason the following cards are banned:
Maddening Hex
Manabarbs
Overabundance
Burning Earth
Cindervines
Eidolon of the Great Revel
Pyrostatic Pillar
Painful Quandary
Spellshock
Kambal, Consul of Allocation
Zo-Zu the Punisher
Rampaging Ferocidon
Liesa, Shroud of Dusk
Ruric Thar, the Unbowed
Ankh of Mishra
The following cards are banned for having particularly poor interactions or exploits with the Shockbox special rules or not working well with the physical implementation.
(like all players having to push a button 15 times in a row)
All cards that cause a player to lose "half thier life" at once are banned whether or not they appear on this list.
Form of the Dinosaur
Form of the Dragon
Worldfire
Aetherflux Reservoir
Heartless Hidetsugu
Blood Tribute
Peer into the Abyss
Goblin Game
Players may ignore the banlist if it is unanimously agreed upon, but do so at thier own peril. I am aware the Vilis and Hidetsugu do not technically fit the descriptions of the banlists they are in but they had to go somewhere, as they can both be commanders.
Losing and winning the game cannot be prevented.
Abilities that cause a player to lose or win the game as an effect do not work.
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ABUR duals are erratta'd to have the same rules text as shocklands.
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Players may concede the game at any time. If this is because a player no longer wants to participate, they are immune to penalties from losing.
Shaming another player for safewording will result in a permanent ban from using the shockbox.
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Losing the game for any reason (other than safewording) causes the player to press the button ten times regardless of what the difference in life lost is.
(The max queued charge the box will track is ten, pressing the button 100 times and 10 times will result in a shock of the same duration)
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Dragging the game out deliberately by repeatedly wiping the board is not banned but is discouraged. Mill is not banned, but discouraged as a win condition. Propaganda effects are strongly discouraged but not currently banned. Pillowfort strategies are not exactly what people are sitting down with electrodes strapped to them to play against.
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